Monday, December 1, 2008

To Mr. Mel Guymon from Veronica

Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2008 02:43:46 -0800 (PST)

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I could try to convince you to keep Lively running through various examples of business, social, or marketing applications, but so many others have valid arguments in that light. What I can do though, is tell you my unique story relating to a totally different application of Lively.

I am a transgendered woman, only recently beginning the process of coming out and transitioning. It is a very grueling and heart wrenching experience to those who have been brave enough to do it; and for those who have not, it festers inside of them and breeds depression until the day they die. The only real way to solve the problem of feeling you were born in the body of the wrong sex, is to transition your body into one that reflects who you truly are. I was born a male and have struggled through so much pain and longing for the entirety of my 23 years of existence. Always chided and scolded for not being "man enough" or for acting "too girly" I soon tried to conform to societies standards set before me. I was after all born with a male body, so why shouldn't I try to act like one? For years I did my best to follow the male model set before me, but always felt inadequate and usually depressed for some reason. During this time I had no idea what affected me, nor did I have the concept of transgenderism. I merely tried to fit in with everyone.

Around the time I started college, I began to gain a better understanding of the world, and was exposed to more types of people. Through the help of forums and online chatting, I was able to discover and learn about transgendered individuals. I still hadn't realized I was in fact transgendered myself, but I expressed an interest in learning more about it. I began to have floods of emotions and memories of always feeling forced to act certain ways, wear certain clothes, like certain things, say and behave in certain mannerisms. After a long quest of self discovery I finally realized that I was in fact transgendered. I then had to face up to all the morals and doctrines I had been taught up until that point, slowly analyze them and determine if they were wrong or right in my eyes. I had to denounce my religion, accept that my family and friends most probably would not accept me, and steel myself for a society that largely would persecute me for who I am. After several years of soul searching, indecisiveness, and debilitating depression and despair, I eventually came across Lively.

What does Lively have to do with this long, seemingly unrelated story? A lot. While spending an evening at a friend's house my friend, who is a Google nut, showed me a new 3D chat client recently released a month or so prior. It was of little interest to him, but he presented it to me in a proudly zealous way as further proof of Google's genius. It immediately caught my eye because I have always had an interest in online worlds as well as building avatars of what I could be and was not (i.e. creating a female avatar since I could not at that time alter my physical appearance). So, I went home and tried it the next day. It was a whimsical little world, with excellent design and wonderful avatars reminiscent of Pixar and Dreamworks characters. I had mildly interesting conversations with several people from around the world, and it held my attention enough to come back some more. Shortly after joining, I cam across Leo's room, "Leo's In the Castro". There I met Leo and several other friendly folk who were very inviting and understanding, and I quickly warmed up. In the next few days I met several other nice people, and the list kept compounding. I was really hooked. Not addicted to a program, but addicted to the people I could freely interact with through the program. For the first time I could actually have a semblance of life as a woman. It was a social situation I could go into as if I never was plagued with my birth sex and freely interact with people as myself. I loved the way I was treated and felt. "So this is what it's like to be hit on by guys." "These people treat me so much nicer and don't expect me to act macho or competitive." "Girls actually approach me as a friend, not with distrust that I may be hitting on them." were several of the thoughts that went thought my mind. It was a trial version, if you will, of what was to come.

After a brief absence while moving to college and adjusting to life there, I returned one night to visit Lively yet again. I was quickly reunited with people I had met prior and quickly developed extremely close and meaningful friendships with them. One person in particular was able to help me in ways I never even knew I could be helped. I was able to come out and discuss my transgender issues with a few people on Lively, and I received unanimous love and support. I am eternally grateful to these people who have helped me so very much in being comfortable with who I am and giving me the confidence to be who I really am. They still are and will forever be my friends. Lively is not merely a 3D chat client useful here and there for business, social networking, or creativity, it is something so much more to me. It is an entity allowing me to vicariously connect with people continents apart with whom I would never have such a chance to share close moments with in such ways as I do on Lively. Never before has a product, client, or whatever you want to call it, captured the charm, marvel, and accessibility attributed to Lively. This project is still merely in beta phase. I repeat, only in beta. And look what it has accomplished for so many people. Imagine the potential it has! What started off as a marvelous project to begin with, now has a rock solid team of devotees behind it willing to do all they can to improve it and spur it's growth. It would be a severe mistake to scrap the Lively project now. Not when there is so many ideas and ingenuity compounding daily from it. There is a hope that Lively will stay, and there is a hope that it will become something better than anyone can even imagine. We are willing to see that happen, and we hope you are too.

With great sincerity,
Veronica

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